My relationship with fashion has been changing this past while, my friends. Changing and evolving. And I’m struggling to put it in perspective. I’ve been trying to step back and see what’s changed and how I might move forward.
Of course, evolution is a good thing. All living things must evolve in one way or another. And you and I are not exceptions to this. How else do we adapt and learn to cope with new circumstances in our changing world if we don’t evolve? We assess, we learn, we change, and we decide how we can move forward. Sometimes the moving forward is not easy; sometimes it’s difficult and uncomfortable. Sometimes moving forward requires all our determination and courage.
Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic.
I know that some of you are dealing with distressing circumstances in your lives which require determination and courage. And I am in no way suggesting that deciding how to get dressed is comparable to the big life changes you might be facing.
I guess I’m just suggesting that this weekend we set aside our difficult choices and all the patience-trying, anger-provoking news we are barraged with these days and have a good old, shallow chat about fashion. What do you say?
I have always loved fashion. Ever since I was a kid and coveted the dresses that my older sisters wore. Ever since I took up scissors and needle and tried to make a dress for my Barbies with leftover material from my mum’s summer dress-making activities. Ever since I was a teenager and used to lie in bed at night and dream of the perfect outfit for the next day at school.
I remember dreaming about clothes as I lay in bed in my old room at my parents’ house the year I was twenty-seven. The year I quit my job in pharmaceutical sales and moved back to New Brunswick to take another run at adult life. I’d close my eyes and think of my favourite suede skirt suit to calm my fears that I’d made a huge mistake and taken a disastrous U-turn in life. Oddly enough dreaming of that suit hanging in the closet helped reassure me that I was still me. The summer I had shingles and couldn’t wear normal clothes for weeks, I wrote a whole post about “outfit dreams.” You can read it here, if you’re interested.
For years and years, ever since I became an adult actually, I have followed a process to manage my wardrobe. To try to make my fashion dreams a reality. I researched trends, read fashion magazines, surveyed my wardrobe, made lists, and carefully planned what I wanted to buy each season. Then I went shopping. The whole process was a labour of love for me.
Twice a year I lovingly unpacked my spring and summer or my fall and winter clothes and “turned my closet,” as my friend Margaret used to say. I tried pieces on and decided if I wanted to wear them again the upcoming season. Some I packed away again to reconsider the next year, some I sold in consignment stores, and some I donated. I was a careful shopper but I still acquired a substantial wardrobe. Looking back I can’t imagine how I squeezed everything into my tiny closet.
And somehow, despite the passing years, this whole process continued unabated.
Until it didn’t.
Things have been changing gradually over the past few years. My relationship with fashion has been evolving. Some of my tried and true fashion traditions have fallen away. But only lately has this gradual evolution pulled me up short. Only recently have I felt that my relationship with fashion has unalterably changed.
Of course, the first big change was triggered by my retirement. I now needed fewer “smart” outfits. I gave away a big chunk of my work wardrobe to young colleagues. I still dreamed of blazers and boots and skirts, but worn with jeans, or as part of a casual outfit. I learned to dress down my remaining dressy pieces. I’d wear the occasional suit, but with a tee shirt and sneakers, instead of a blouse and pumps. I might wear a silk blouse still, but with jeans instead of dress pants. My style definitely shifted.
Then I let my hair go white. This change triggered another shift in my style. For a while I delved into the world of “colour theory.” At first I enjoyed the research until I grew impatient with all the dictates. I won’t say I didn’t learn anything because I did. But eventually I stopped caring whether I was a cool summer or a soft summer or whatever. I thought I had learned enough to make judgements for myself.
Then I began to explore the idea of the “three style words.” I really had fun with this. I listened to style gurus like Amy Smilovic and Allison Bornstein. I talked a lot on my blog about all this. How I thought my three words were classic, modern, and minimalist. Or was it classic, casual, and chill? Of course, I soon learned that to follow the rules slavishly can cause unnecessary frustrations. Like with the colour seasons, I learned to use these style rules as guidelines. I didn’t take it too seriously at any rate. It was just fun to explore these ideas.
Despite my changing style, and my smaller closet I still did my research and looked forward to planning my seasonal acquisitions.
Then my traditional sources of inspiration became, well, less inspirational. I became increasingly disenchanted with fashion magazines. I cancelled long-held subscriptions, and eventually even stopped buying the big September and March issues. I used to anticipate the September issue in particular. That is until it began to provoke exasperation, instead of inspiration. I began to look at Instagram and YouTube for inspiration in planning my shopping.
But now my favourite shopping destinations in Ottawa were closing, one by one. I used to love nothing better than a Saturday afternoon at Holt Renfrew with my friend Liz who was the personal shopper there. When Holts closed and Liz moved to the newly opened Nordstrom, we still spent quality time in the dressing room. I didn’t love Nordstrom as much as Holts, but shopping with Liz was always fun. Then Liz retired and Nordstrom closed. Not just the Ottawa store, but all their Canadian locations. It seems that the American giant never did get a good handle on the Canadian market. And during the pandemic, the small independent stores I loved went the same way. Only one remains now. Shopping in Ottawa became an exercise in disappointment.
So I guess it was a good thing for me that I had started counting my wardrobe acquisitions and learning about the slow fashion movement. And last year I tried a “low buy” year. I signed onto the “Rule of Five” challenge, and tried to buy only five new pieces over the course of the year. I didn’t quite make it; I bought six new things. But I learned a lot about thrifting and shopping consignment and vintage stores.
And here’s where my big epiphany happened.
I find I’m not terribly interested in shopping new anymore. I know, eh?
Maybe it’s that the new purchases I made last year were somewhat unsatisfying. Or that my favourite pieces were found at second hand and vintage shops. Or that my favourite outfits almost always included something old that I dug out of my closet. It might be that every time I shop I see things that are similar to, but not as nice as, what I already own. Maybe it’s just that I have finally accepted I have everything I want. And that I’m excited to wear what I own again this year.
This situation is not a surprise, I guess. I’ve been heading down this road for a few years now. It’s just that when I packed away my heavier winter things and brought out my spring pieces the other day, I didn’t follow my usual routine. I didn’t sit down and update my book of lists with a Spring-Summer 2025 wardrobe entry. I didn’t make a “needs and wants” list. I just packed and unpacked, sorted, fluffed, folded, hung jackets on hangers, and zipped up garment bags to store away. Then I ate my lunch and read my book.
And when I sat down to think about this week’s post, this whole thing kind of sank in. Hmmm.
And not only that. I have a pictorial record of all the outfits I want to wear again this year. That’s what the photos in this post are, pictures from blog posts over the past three years that I want to wear this spring. Some I wore last year. A couple I styled for the blog and never wore. A couple I wore a ton, and will do so again this year. So, moving forward this year, that’s the plan.
I’m my own inspiration now. Funny how things work out, eh?
My relationship with fashion has definitely evolved over the years, but in a good way, I think. I still love clothes. I still dream of outfits. But I find I am less and less interested in shopping. And more and more content with what I own. Of course that doesn’t mean I won’t ever shop new. When I see a wow piece that makes me feel like my Max Mara green coat felt when I bought it… well, I’ll probably take the plunge. Until then I am content.
At least until Debbie and I are let loose in downtown Toronto in June. Then all bets are off.
I’m sure you’ve seen this old photo before on the blog. Me with my brother and sisters and Nana Knowles at Easter, 1959. I’ve always wondered where my Easter hat was. Maybe the lack of an Easter bonnet when both my sisters are wearing theirs is what precipitated the look on my face.
Anyway, I’m done here. I hope you have a good long weekend, my friends. Easter weekend was always my traditional time to turn my closet. And since I’ve already done that, I have more time for reading and eating too many hot cross buns. 🙂
It’s your turn now. Want to weigh in with thoughts of your own changing relationship with fashion?
86 thoughts on “My Evolving Relationship with Fashion”
I buy less because I realized I need less. I still like to shop occasionally with a friend and buy a new piece. The act of buying is more of spendings time with a good friend, than buying new pieces to add to our wardrobe. I buy more carefully now. Much fewer purchases.
I love shopping with old friends. But we’re also trying to go for walks instead. Less tempting. 🙂
Hmmm, funny that I was just thinking the exact same thing lately. Maybe it’s coming out of the long cold winter where the only thing most people saw was my winter coat. I’m hoping now that spring has arrived I’ll get a little bit more of the joy a great outfit always brings. Time will tell!
We’re not out of winter temperatures here yet. Today my husband and I went mattress shopping and I insisted on wearing a spring sweater, but had to add my winter jacket on top. Ha.
I think for me it may be down to the quality and cost of new clothing. Like you said, when I see something new in store I realise I have something similar but far better. Also as we have an abundance of international charity stores where I live at low prices I am totally hooked on those. I shop 2nd hand for nearly all clothing. As for inspiration I do look at a couple of blogs, more out of interest than trying to copy, as have always done my own thing anyway. I too was thinking/dreaming about outfits since I was young. I remember keeping lists of clothes I would buy when I saved enough pocket money (at the age of 11 or 12). I don’t think I ever managed to buy any but making the lists and dreaming was such fun. By the time I had saved enough money my wish-list had changed. Haha, pocket money was not very much in those years. Take care.
One of my favourite shopping memories is of “laying away” a sweater in high school. We’d put a few dollars down, enough that the store would put our name on the item and place it their back room. Then when we had the rest of the money we could take it Home. Oh… the anticipation was immense!
P.S. Corrections made. 🙂
Thanks for the blog. I have found out it is
more exciting and fun to buy new clothes, when not getting them as often as before. Almost the same feeling when being a kid and getting new outfit only once or twice a year (when old ones did not fit anymore). Same with other things too. Like travelling. When I travelled often I lost the glory of it. Now I travel less and the excitement is back🤩. But I also think clothes, fashion and other lighter themes are good for our mental health when it seems the world is burning (excuse my english, it is not my native language)
I agree, Auli. There’s a lot to be said for delayed gratification. I am so looking forward to my planned shopping trip to Toronto in June.
Very interesting . Perhaps it boils down to needing & wanting . I seemed to need clothes so much when I was very young & can remember yearning after some of the outfits my ( only child ) cousin had . As a young teenager I learnt how to sew , I ‘designed’ my own simple shift dresses & added decorative touches to personalise them . Not always successful but still not much money around . As I grew older & earned my own salary I compensated for early days by overbuying I think . I don’t need a psychiatrist to tell me this & I probably wasted far too much money but those were my ‘wanting ‘ years . So where am I now ? Much the same situation as you , just a few steps ahead . I turned away from fashion magazines a long time ago & most fashion blogs make me laugh but I’m not their target now . I no longer need a huge wardrobe , the local oxfam shop has benefited greatly from my cast offs & I struggle to find items good enough to buy . You mention Holt Renfrew , my favourite shop was the small local Margaret Howell end of line shop where there was always something I loved . It closed but I still have most of the treasures I found there & her designs really do stand the test of time . I will always love nice clothes though , that romance will never be over . I notice what people wear & am curious about the vagaries of fashion . I still fall for something new now & then , Toast is definitely on my wavelength but there’s lots of fun to be had by delving into my wardrobe & mixing it up . That’s the thing isn’t it , we have experience on our side now . We have a good idea of what suits us & what doesn’t so we’re not flailing around frantically . I was in a second hand clothes shop in York last week looking at scarves . I arrived early as the local university students swarm in by late morning & take over . All the scarves , hundreds of them are tied to the banisters on the stairs & it can be bewildering but I was quickly flicking my way through & homing in on any possibles – blue/green/geometric . Two for £8 & it’s good fun . The youngsters arrived & started wading through the scarves – very slowly . I would have been the same at their age but I know my style better now . I’m not saying I always get it right though 😁
I love that the young women are shopping second hand. My friend and I encountered three girls at the vintage shop a few months ago. They told us they liked to shop there to find unique pieces. I am not familiar with Toast stores. I’m going to look them up online. 🙂
I’ve recently discovered TOAST. It’s pricey (by my standards), but I’ve bought two cardigans in unusual colours that are well-made and will add interest and warmth to my otherwise drab wardrobe for a long time to come.
I’m with you there. Since I retired, I’ve had less need to wear the smarter stuff. Mind you, I didn’t need the really smart stuff from when I was commuting to work when hubby and I ran a B&B, either.
However, my fashion addiction started with my Mum & Dad. They owned a ladies fashion shop from 1966 to 1990, so from the age of 5, I was used to seeing the new season stock come in and getting new clothes in my wardrobe. So it’s all their fault!!
I still buy far too much (don’t tell hubby!) but I am getting better at buying less. If I bought everything in my baskets or wishlists, I’d really be skint. 🤣 I find it fun to browse online. I then take those ideas and try and adapt from my existing wardrobe… I’ve always been a classic girl.
Sadly it’s not so easy to find good secondhand clothing, as there’s not much in my size… but I’m on a health drive now, so maybe I will get back into the clothing in my loft!! 🤔
I can’t imagine growing up in a home with access to all the new fashions! That would have been nirvana for me. 🙂
I’m buying less now also. I find I already have a lot I don’t wear! All those clothes hanging in the closet (I must have 20 tops I never wear!) and never feel they are just right. I’ve really started to let go of the “mistakes” I have bought over the years. You know those items, the ones that were a “bargain” but don’t really suit me. I did decide I needed a new blazer for the winter. I ended up buying 3 of them! One is dressy black for going out to dinner, one is more casual, and one is a heavy weight sweater jacket for when it is cold here in Florida. And when I say “cold”, I mean around 50 degrees F. lol. I am hoping I can stick to cutting down on my purchases!
I have never been a good sale shopper. Not unless it was exactly what I was looking for. My anal retentive list saved me, I guess. Ha.
Hard agree here. In fact, I am probably going to go through my wardrobe later this week and have yet another cull. The weather is changing and I need to bring out the clothes for warmer days but maybe get shot of some things that have been hanging around for no good reason, certainly not being worn. And while I enjoy a stroll around the shops, it is not with buying in mind. Once you start the process of getting rid of things – ongoing, at present – it can become quite addictive and refreshing. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s more that it’s not important.
I sometimes find that culling things that have hung in my closet almost accusing me of not wearing them enough can be freeing. Ha.
I have found consignment store shopping much more enjoyable and productive. I enjoy the process of seeing what’s available and what catches my eye. Also I have found brands that fit very well that are only available online and would be prohibitively expensive if I bought them new.
I live in a rural area, more a backwater, where fashion is generally wearing clean sweatpants to the grocery store.
I finally found an expert seamstress who works magic with taking in a waistband or shortening a top and that has made a significant difference in the fit of my clothes. Long live consignment stores.
I’m finding that consignment and vintage stores inspire me to try quirky things. And I generally get into long conversations with the staff at my fav vintage shops about how different pieces can be worn. It’s making shopping way more fun.
Thoroughly enjoyed your musings this morning. I am going to be packing away this week, and I think quite a few items will be leaving for new homes. I also agree the after many years of not having much growing up, remade and hand me downs, that I was making up for lost time when I finally got a good job.
In recent years I have discovered that I don’t need closets full of items that are for a fantasy life now that I am retired. I think I will be much happier with less to choose from. I look at the dresses that are sleeveless and think perhaps I don’t want to always wear a third layer in the heat of summer, but will not be wearing them without. I find shopping to be difficult lately with many stores closing, and I will not be ordering from the US with the horrendous exchange rates, so, must find what I like in the local thrift and consignment stores. Actually about 90% of my things now are from them anyway. I need to feel the fabric and see the fit. I have told a friend, who wants to shop constantly, that I will go with her in August or September to see the fall items, but not before then. I do hope to stick to the 5 items again, and so far have only bought a spring jacket new, and a pair of grey jeans at consignment. What more do I need right now after all. Well, maybe a new pair of earrings 🙂
I really enjoy following along your fashion path and have stopped the few others that seem to only buy, buy, buy and encourage others to as well. I do miss Brenda Kinsell though. Please keep up the wardrobe musings and angst as we travel along this second half of life still wanting to look fabulous.
I remember Brenda Kinsell well. Such a shame that she passed away so young.
A nod of agreement from me! As I look through my closet, I realize NOT ONE of my purchases last year exceeded — or even met — my expectations. NOT ONE was of better quality fabric, better made, more interesting, or more likely to last than what was already in my closet. What a waste of my time, energy (of all sorts), and money.
I hear you. No more shopping compromises for me. It’s true love or no deal.
I use to love browsing my favorite stores to get ideas and see what was going on in fashion. I live in the US and many of my favorite stores have closed and even the nearest Nordstrom doesn’t carry that much anymore. I use to love going to the Nordstrom July Anniversary Sale but now it’s so disappointing it isn’t worth the effort. So for me most of my shopping and inspiration is on-line which is an entirely different animal. I don’t like buying multiple sizes to see what fits and I hate returning anything so I mostly stick with brands that provide lots of fit info and read reviews.
I really don’t need much because I have built a pretty classic wardrobe and I’m retired. That being said it’s become a want instead of a need because I still love changing, and evolving my look.
Some brands are very good at providing lots of sizing info, fit details, and reader reviews. Others … not so much.
Great comments, all. Does anyone else struggle with a shifting body? Same weight but shorter and sadly stockier through the middle. The lovely wrap dresses in my closet just don’t look as great on me anymore but yet they still hang there, wishing that I’ll magically gain my height back. Finding clothes that don’t hug my middle but still fit my style ( classic casual fun) are a challenge ( I’m not a flow-y girl). Even the illusive 3rd pieces are too cropped and snug. That is the dilemma that keeps me searching. I’d love to hear of quality brands anyone may know-
Cindy this could have written by me. This week I let go of two pair of jeans that I finally had to admit no longer fit. And an hour ago I tried a button up blouse where the last three buttons had no hope of closing. I’m trying my best to accept these changes with grace. Mother Nature always wins!
Yes! I pine for the clothes I used to wear but will never fit them, nor wear them well. I have a “fantasy” (I think an earlier reply mentioned) evening gown with long train from Saks that I will never fit into again yet can’t seem to move it on despite knowing I will never bare my arms in public, unless the situation requires an ambulance. Yes, that was a run-on! How I envy those whose size or shape must not have changed and they can continue to wear their lovely vintage items, but you are far from alone, Cindy! I may be in Kaftans from the Cabana Store before long!
I am not a flowy person either, Cindy. And as the middle grows, so some of the styles I used to love have to go. Like wrap dresses. Tailored jackets have saved my bacon so many times.
Maybe it’s hard to get excited about fashion considering the dismal state of the world right now.
That might be part of it, Marilyn.
Isn’t it interesting how many of us are feeling much the same as you about fashion and shopping these days. I certainly am. I started turning my closet this week and put aside a few things from my fall/winter wardrobe to donate. I recognize that there are a couple of pieces in my spring/summer closet that need to be replaced because they’re stained or badly worn, but there’s no sense of excitement about going shopping anymore.
Exactly, Elaine. There is no sense of excitement. I would rather sit and chat about skin care with one friend who is like minded.
The low quality of clothing available at retail has taken all the fun out of shopping. Stuff I could get excited about is available only at stratospheric prices – or second hand, which (like others here) is how I do a lot of my shopping now.
I don’t know many people who love to chat about clothes…except my sister, that is. I miss shopping at Holts for that reason. I loved to chat with my friend Liz about trends we loved and hated etc etc etc.
Yesterday I swapped out my warmer winter wardrobe clothes and went downstairs to my summer wardrobe and tried on everything and ended up culling quite a few pieces! I ended up with a garbage bag full of clothes that did not feel right …not genuinely me….a few were impulse buys, some sadly were too snug and a couple were too trendy.
I donated the clothes to a local charity shop.
My closet feels a bit more airy and I feel like getting dressed will be much easier.
I love shopping at our local consignment shops…we have some really great ones here in Victoria
That Max Mara coat is a real gem…
Thank you for another fabulous post Sue and Happy Easter.
Leslie Lord
Hostess of The Humble Bungalow
Consignment shops definitely reflect the neighbourhood where they’re located, don’t they? The ones I like here in Ottawa are quite a drive from me, but it’s worth it.
Fabulous column this week. In agreement with this sisterhood. I love Bass Weejun loafers. Found a brand new pair in a consignment shop for a third the regular price. Curious how often Holt Renfrew is mentioned. It is still here in Calgary but has lost it’s allure for me. I think for all the reasons mentioned in the column and the comments. Take care
Happy Easter.
I still love Holts in Montreal. A least I did back in 2022… but I haven’t been back since. Wonder if the one in Toronto will be appealing or simply nauseating. We’ll see in June. Ha.
I had my onw private confinement before there ever was one.
3 years before Covid I was in the heart of what we call a long illness along with a sever depression.All in all I was away from work for 3 years, 3 long years.
I was not even 55.
That’s when I stopped shopping new clothes, new shoes, new…everything (well nearly).
But I still shopped though, second hand mostly as it was a kind of therapy for me at that time.
After Covid and back to work, well my body had changed and I had to get rid of a lot of clothes.
In short, this last year I bought few clothes items, secondhand or new.
I have plenty of stuff in my closet that I accumulated along the years, I just don’t care for fashion for quite some time now: anyway, as all is a circle, what I kept from the 80 or 90’s are in again so….
I do prefer to get quality clothes or shoes , and by that I mean real good quality clothes: I stopped buying made in China or Vietnam or whatever clothes long ago because well, most of that is crap. I do prefer to get less but much better, thanks to my parents who taught me quality.
And I feel, but I may be wrong obviously, that in Europe one may be less attracted to be head to toe like a fashion “in” than what one can sometimes read from sites or forum from North America, for example.
I am always shocked yes when I read women that say to each other that they toss one item because they can’t sew a button, sew a hem, clean a spot or that the fashion has changed. I am also shocked when I read that so many people buy tons and tons of …crap at Amazon, Shein, Temu or the like. It seems to me that this overconsumption shows how bad the world feel.
I am not saying that I am better of course, how dare I !
As it is the same that happens in my country with, for example, Zara and the multiple monthly collections.
I stopped following that, I am not interested anymore in going to that kind of shops.
There are still independent shops and brands, but not so much and for how long? So that is the reason why I invest in very good quality clothes and shoes, second hand.
I don’t have a car, nor children. I live a simple life.
I feel that fashion, haute couture, is not what is was and it does not make me dream any longer. Ah yes, the tailoring of past years. I’m not interested in fashion Instagram, Pinterest is not what it used to be and Youtube is full , too full sometimes. I read blogs, like yours, not that much. And I enjoy colours in a world where black, beige and colours that I will never ever wear so anyway I am my own fashion inspirations.
I’ve stopped watching or following accounts that only talk about what they’ve bought. To me that kind of content creator is tone deaf. So I just sigh and move on. I still like browsing independent shops which reflect the owners style choices. But I find many are not for me.
I find myself reading and re-reading all your comments and nodding my head ‘yes’ at your thoughts. I do care about how I look and getting dressed is really all about me anymore. I am showing up for myself and not projecting the company image. Retirement has meant a more casual life style and time for grandchildren. Initially, I had a hard time shifting my shopping from business wear to casual. I lost myself for a bit and am after 4 years more sure of how I wish to present myself. I did cull alot of clothing and yet a significant amount remains. It is an ongoing process and I am consciously making outfits and using my accessories daily. There are fewer places to shop and I simply have been in a few stores leaving empty handed every time. I turned my closet last week and am glad to say I think I don’t need a thing for late spring and summer! That’s a first!
Returning home empty handed was becoming really frequent for me too. Now that I’m intentionally buying less it’s easier to not go shopping at all.
As I read your blog this morning, I found myself in total agreement. When I was teaching, I “needed” all sorts of smart outfits and accessories, as well as stylish shoes to go with all of them. I loved shopping for and wearing the latest fashions. When I retired, I donated many of those outfits.
Now I buy very few new clothes, preferring to shop my closet most of the time and 2nd hand a few times a year. Today I will turn my closet, and I think I won’t need a thing. It’s a place of delicious calm for me.
That’s exactly right, Sue. We’ve reaching a place of calm and it feels great.
Totally agree with all commenters about fashion, etc. I have always been a lover of fashion. I am retired for 14 years and don’t need a super put-together look anymore to help my former life in the business/medical field. Somewhere along the line, COVID also hit and my social life came to a screeching halt. Then, a heart condition added to that and I lost 50 pounds. Yeah for a new wardrobe (!) bought totally online from a reputable and classic company. Somewhat difficult as I was 6 feet tall – now 5’10”.
Always had my eye on thrift shops and a wonderful biannual hospital/nearly new sale here on the east coast. My mom was a department store buyer and went to NY often. She taught me how to discern the good stuff! Still going to that sale. My style has really become super casual but with a twist of the unusual, mostly from that sale. Have no desire to go to the“mall” anymore.
Sue, I love your blog as do some of my friends. Conversations with them revealed that we are subscribers and love your weekly messages (no pressure). What fun, so enjoyable and very inspiring. Thanks so much. Claire
Ah, thanks so much, Claire. Really appreciate your comment. 🙂
I really wish I could shop consignment, but there are no stores in my small, southern college town. Second hand shops have children’s or college student clothes which are not for me at 73. I do shop yearly for things like summer tee shirts. It’s already 90F and they just do not last even if good quality. I have a dream of a really beautiful couture outfit which I’ll never realize, but I certainly do not need it!
That’s a problem my sister is finding where she lives as well, Lynn.
Yes, I too keep saying that your expressed feelings about fashion are just what I feel too these days. Is it possible that shopping can run its course? Maybe.
Or maybe we need to move to the part of your blog that is about books and have a discussion about that for a few months.
But my closet IS full, and even the things I know I probably should let go will probably keep taking up space in my closet just in case.
This is an odd age to me, post-retirement. I choose things to wear differently and try new combinations I never thought would work before. It’s more a time of having fun with getting dressed, or some days just slipping back into a uniform of jeans and a flannel shirt or a tshirt, just for me.
Thanks for leading us through this scary time. I really do appreciate you very much.
I’ve been thinking the same thing Eva. I’m writing about fashion a bit less in the past few months and that will probably continue. Books are on deck for next week. 🙂
I was the youngest of five girls and have had a love affair with everything clothes and fashion since the age of …five?!
For many of my adult years I was nicknamed “the queen of accessories”. I would spend hours on the weekend, putting together and ironing outfits for the coming week(s).
At the law firm I worked at in San Francisco, one of the other paralegals was curious about the volume of my closet(s) as, I quote, “I never see you in the same thing twice”. As a challenge, we kept track of how many days I could, indeed, go without wearing the same outfit twice. I think I hit somewhere around 180 days. At one point in my life I had well over 150 pairs of shoes, boots, sandals.
I have shopped second hand, thrift and vintage for years and, retail and online, etc etc etc. It was, admittedly, a thrill to always have something new and, now in my wise old years (lol), I’ve come to realize it was filling a hole within me. The perfect image presented to the world.
The sheer volume of my closets became overwhelming and stifling to me and my creative self expression through my clothes. Over the last 5-10 years I do a major culling several times a year. Now, if I see something I want to buy, it has to be worthy of a spot in my closet. No more mass quantities. No more hollow and fleeting (not cheap) thrills.
What sparks my joy now is customizing my clothes. I’ve made half a dozen pairs of custom jeans, some my own creations and some that I’ve seen retail but would never pay $$$$ for something I can make! Same with jackets and tops. Now my thrill is finding a good sale item or second hand find, customizing it and being unique.
The journey of learning to be comfortable in my own skin ( never ending) does play a part in my relationship with fashion.
Thank you for this lovely post, it’s inspired self reflection and I have enjoyed reading all the comments.
That was fascinating. I did, at one point, try to envision the actual size of your wardrobe(s).
Wow. That is a large wardrobe, Michelle. But you are so right about the journey to be comfortable in our own skin. Still, even when we are, fashion can be fun. And enjoying fashion does not have to be about buying new things. That’s what I’ve learned in the past year.
Sue, Annie…. It was embarrassingly gluttonous. 😟. It’s who I was then and it’s not who I am now and that’s okay. I’m certain I’ll evolve more in the years to come and look to have joy doing so.
No need to be embarrassed, Michelle. It’s just a “phase” you went through. 🙂
I’d love to hear your description of how you customized your jeans- or a picture! I’ve thought of trying the same but I’m not a seamstress at all. Maybe needlework.
Deborah – needlework would be cute ! Some I’ve done:
sewn colored buttons down the side seams for ‘side stripe’ effect;
sewn crystal floral buttons on the bottom hems;
down a full patchwork / ribbon / applique design on pant legs [that was a big one, had to rip out the entire leg to use sewing machine];
sewn crochet doilies in a scatter on the legs and added eyelet trim on bottom hems [Not Your Grandma’s Doilies]; and,
my most recent pair I made, My Pants of Positivity*. Using varsity letter style appliques I fashioned a crossword grid of positive words on the pant legs, and ironed/sewed them on.
*some pants just deserves names LOL
Hope you enjoyed these and have fun if you start making your own unique jeans !
I am another one in the ” can’t get excited by fashion” group. In days gone by I loved to shop for clothing as I had a busy life and needed different outfits depending on my activities – work, sport, casual, hiking camping or formal. I enjoyed looking for quality fabrics with proper tailoring and fit – the result of wearing a school uniform from the ages of 4 – 17 I think.
Since retirement I wear comfortable and casual clothes so really need to be brave and purge a lot of my wardrobe. I have taken to wearing more of my “special” clothes every day. Not quite a ballgown to do the dusting but getting more use of the clothes I already have. When I do go for a browse around the retailers I see little that excites me as the quality has decreased and the price has increased. With our small population, about 5 million, there isn’t the market for a wide variation of goods although it has improved over the years.
Perhaps we need a swap clothes coffee morning for your followers Sue?
I think that clothes swap parties are a great idea. But size and taste can be limiting, unless there are a ton of people attending. Or your friends have the same taste as you. It’s like attending parties for the purpose of home-selling products. I always end up buying something I don’t really want.
I’ve seen it before, but it is such a lovely photo,you look so sweet
I’ll sign all of your outfits. It is great to have photos of your favourite combinations-I’m simply lazy,what to say,and don’t take photos
But completely agree-there are life changes,circumstance changes, habit changes….I feel that I have everything I need and almost everything I want at the moment. Simplicity,clean lines,comfort (not in a “oversized t-shirt and old yoga pants” way,but no fuss,no uncomfortable clothes and outfits),outfits I love and repeat. Jeans/upgraded t-shirt (cashmere,silk,cotton)/ blazer or cardigan/scarf is my spring (and autumn) uniforme-I play with texture and colours from my closet. I’ll wear dresses during summer
Things and brands I used to buy are over-priced and under-quality nowdays
Maybe it’s a phase in our lives,maybe it will be permanent….we’ll see
Dottoressa
I plan to look for an easy summer dress this year. I think I might need one when we are in Spain in the fall… if Portugal is anything to go by. I sweltered when we were there and wished I’d packed a light dress.
Sue, we were in Italy and Malta in November last year and it was still so warm I got my hair cut off! In Toulouse right now and it’s been around 25° at the end of April. I don’t think you would regret a few light clothes for Portugal. I see they are already having record high temperatures across India and Pakistan too.
Thanks for the heads up. I’m already on the hunt for a light summer dress which I could have sorely used on our last trip. 🙂
Maybe it is the times, but I am not interested in fashion at all. I seem to come up with a few seasonal uniforms that serve me well and focus on that. Shopping is frustrating, because…I just don’t like what is out there. The shapes aren’t flattering on me nor the colors. Although, a year and a half ago I bought some wide leg trouser jeans and wear them non stop. I do follow seasonal coloring. It allows me get away with less makeup and helps focus my shopping. The three word theory just seemed too trendy. In the end uniform dressing has been the most successful. Boring No! When I put on something I really like no matter how many times I have worn it I get a thrill. I have a blue and white stripe shirt from WNU that makes me happy every time I wear it. This winter I bought the perfect color navy (I like my navies to be bright navies) funnel neck sweater that I probably wore three times a week.
Seasonal uniforms make dressing so easy, don’t they?
Like you my passion for clothes started at a very young age. My mum had a well- to- do friend who passed on her copies of Vogue magazine, I loved them, the wonderful elegant fashions of the 50″s!
A bit older, I would make a list of what I needed for my new summer wardrobe(!!!), probably around the age of eight! Of course I didn’t get everything I wanted, we weren’t well off and quite a few of my clothes came from the nearly-new shop. But a couple of crisp new cotton dresses I did get, and I would hang them on the door where that would be the first thing I saw when I woke up.
Later on I learnt to make my own clothes, as did most of my friends.
So now, in my old age I can’t say I ever lost that passion. But more and more I’ll see something and realise I already have more or less the same in my wardrobe. I try to restrict myself to a piece of jewellery or a bag if I need a retail fix.I’m happy that I always bought the best I could afford so I’ll probably wear out before my clothes do !
I don’t really agree that you can’t find quality clothes any more, they are there if you look, and I stay loyal to a few companies( yes, Toast, Wendy !) that I know won’t disappoint.
That’s two votes for Toast. I really must look them up on-line to see what I’m missing.
Forgot to say, I don’t think an interest in clothes is at all frivolous, how we look has a huge impact on morale. Also, if I’m feeling stressed or generally fed up. a good sort through my clothes always makes me feel better !
I absolutely agree! I am pulling out and wearing items from my closet that I have kept and not worn for years. I look at Pinterest, YouTube, etc for new ways to wear what I already own. Sometimes need an update on smaller pieces, or accessories and “voila” a new/old outfit. I love it when I receive a compliment! Thanks for sharing 😊
Compliments can make your day, right? I always, always compliment women when I see someone in a look I love. And they are always delighted.
I have followed your blog for several years and have seen your evolution. Retirement marked a big change in how we dress. I had a lot of clothes but lost everything in the Southern California fire. I had lost 20 lbs so many of my clothes didn’t fit anymore and I was waiting to lose 15 more lbs before chucking everything out. Now I have to start all over again and I find I really miss my old clothes. I had shopped for years and had special outfits that are difficult to replace. I really miss my sweaters, jackets and scarves, which I had collected for 50 years. I have to buy everything new and I find I still make mistakes but that I like things that are classic in style and natural fabrics. I have trouble adjusting to wide leg pants but even I can tell the skinny jeans and pants aren’t cutting it anymore. I have to tell myself to be more judicious in my purchases and to keep my wardrobe simple.
Oh my goodness, Cindylou. I’m so sorry you were affected by those fires. Of course it’s good you’re safe. But there will be pieces you’ll never be able to replace. And not just clothes, I’m sure. That’s terrible.
I’ve always loved fashion from a very young age too, between dressing my Barbie dolls or playing dress-up with my friends, I just adored putting outfits together. However, lately I’ve been trying to simplify my life more, and now I’m wanting to pare down my fashion too. I’ve followed several fashion blogs, stylish you-tubers, and did the 3 style words etc.. but the reality is.. I lead a simple casual lifestyle. Being retired has really changed my relationship with fashion and so I don’t really need to shop for much anymore. I have plenty of fab items in my closet to play around that should satisfy my creative needs.
I think that there are so many ways to look current these days that it’s easy to style what we already have in a different way. That’s the fun part of not shopping.
I wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts, Sue, and with so many of the comments that have already been made.
I also have always been interested in fashion but less so now. Shopping (especially in malls!) does not have the same appeal.
Retirement has obviously resulted in changes. I have culled but need to do more. I do want to still stay relevant but I know I’m floundering a bit right now. I’ve decided to just sit with this transitional phase…hoping that an epiphany strikes at some stage! Thanks for providing the space for such discussions.
I think sitting and not doing anything for a while is a good idea. About mall shopping. As I wandered around a mall back in the winter, I wondered how so many people could shop so much and yet always look the same.
Agree with you on that, Sue! I look at people at the mall and their huge shopping bags and just wonder why they dress as they do! Especially when they are shopping exclusive stores and merchandise! I’m in the shop less, better quality team. Thanks all for sharing your thoughts!
Buying stuff can act like a kind of fever, I think.
I’m at a place where I need to tackle my closet and I’m dreading it. A whole lot of stuff doesn’t fit anymore, and I have to figure out what’s worth altering and what’s not and then figure out where to put it all so it’s not taking up space in my closet. Can’t really think about anything new until I complete that process, although I’ve got a couple of items on my wish list, so I haven’t given up on fashion yet. It’ll be great when it’s done, I know, just dreading it.
Try listening to an audio book while you do it. Works for me. Then again, I just love doing this kind of thing. 🙂
Like you Sue and so many commenters here, fashion has always been a big part of my life. The last 20 years so much on line shopping from overseas, much of which was wrong, and I gave away. I was obsessed by outfit combinations, planning etc. when working. Even after I retired I went on massive shopping sprees the first year. It is only this past year that I have been so much more mindful, and shopping is not the hobby it was as I seem to have lost interest too. Now I am only buying if I really need something (right now a navy transeasonal jacket) or if I accidently see something I just fall in love with, and it is quality.
Last week I bought some paintings from the thrift shop that I love, it seems I have diverted my efforts to my home as I spend so much of my retire life here.
I so agree with you Janey! I find even in the thrift shops now the first place I head is to the houseware section! I find that just as much fun, if not more so than the clothes section. A treasure hunt where you never know what unusual or interesting things you might find to change up the decor!
I love the idea of repurposing thrifted household stuff too. My sister loves to shop like that for her house.
It seems that lots of us have stopped going on shopping sprees, Janey. I still like to look, but an rarely tempted to buy.
Im on an eight week trip to the UK currently and living out of a very small suitcase (im travelling alone by train so i have to hump it myself).
its convinced me i have far too many clothes at home and i am going to have a serious clean out when i get back. i think i am dressing better while travelling with a limited wardrobe which comprises most of my favourites, rather than wading through way too many things.
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