Sometimes I wonder if doing the right thing just because it is the right thing has gone out of fashion. What do you think? Do you think that our world has become too jaded, too invested in the idea that nothing matters but us? Too convinced that our own comfort, or convenience, or ability to make a dollar (or a pound, or a Euro, or whatever) is more important than doing what is right?
Sometimes I feel like that’s the case. Especially if I’ve been watching too much political commentary on television with Hubby. Or if I’m avoiding watching political commentary on television by scrolling too much on social media. Too much social media is not good for me. Or for any of us for that matter. But I digress.
We were all taught when we were kids, I assume, that it’s important to tell the truth, to be honest and kind and compassionate. And not to steal. Not anything. Not even ideas.
That’s specifically what I want to rant a bit about today. Theft of intellectual property. Plagiarism. Pretending that ideas are our own when they’re not.
The whole thing about acknowledging sources was such an important part of teaching English. We’d ask students, “Where did you get that idea? Who said it first? Where did you find that quote?” We’d teach them how to cite their sources, how to give credit where credit was due.
I’m sure that lots of you get tired of me waxing lyrical about Allison Bornstein or Amy Smilovok or Alyson Walsh when I write about fashion, or explain a new idea that I learned from them that helps me organize my wardrobe or edit my closet. I’ve bought books written by women who I think are experts on fashion, and I love to quote from them or regale you with stories of what I learned from them. Women like Linda Grant or Orsola de Castro or Elizabeth Cline. It’s only right to give credit where credit is due.
I was thinking about this the other day because a well-known store here in Ottawa which has quite a big on-line presence was touting the “three word” method of identifying one’s personal style. I don’t normally follow the on-line activity of this store because their clothes don’t really appeal to me. But my interest was piqued, and I sought out their YouTube channel where they publish their FB events as well as other videos. I swear, I watched every darned video they had, and there were a lot, and not once did I hear them explain the idea behind the “three word method”, where it originated, or who was known for using this method. Weird, I thought. Why not explain a bit more fully how this method might help their customers and how to identify the three words? Why not acknowledge their source?
I mean, I get it; they are a business. Their aim is to sell clothes. But it seems wrong to me to use someone else’s ideas in pursuit of a sale without giving credit where credit is due.
Okay, maybe that is an inconsequential example. “Where’s the harm?” you might say. So here’s another example I found the other day. When I was doing too much scrolling through social media. Ha.
I saw a post on “Threads” where a jewellry designer said that she saw one of her necklaces in the IG post of an well-known influencer. She was thrilled. Until she saw that the influencer said she bought the item on Amazon. “I don’t sell on Amazon,” the designer thought. And not at that price. The designer contacted the influencer to explain that the design was hers. She was subsequently blocked by the influencer. This was when the designer took to social media to vent her frustrations that her designs were being stolen, copied, and sold at a fraction of the prices she charges. Her customers and friends rallied behind her and flooded the comments section of the influencer who was unrepentant. See below.
Well, this was interesting, I thought. I particularly liked the comment below. Good for Jamie Lynn Loren to go to the trouble to explain how the influencer might have better handled the incident. How she might have done the right thing… just because it was the right thing.
This morning I followed up on the designer’s “Threads” account where she said that the influencer had unblocked her, and contacted her privately. Finally. The designer said the influencer apologized, although apparently she said she still doesn’t know what she did wrong. She hadn’t stolen the designer’s ideas. Merely purchased the cheap, copied pieces. But she promised to link to the designer’s Etsy store and give her credit in future. I guess that’s something.
So what did she do wrong? Is it wrong to give credit to or cite a source that doesn’t legally own the idea or design or whatever? Not really, if you did your best to ascertain who owned the idea and gave credit in good faith. But if that necklace had not been sold out on Amazon the influencer would have earned affiliate commission from its sales. She seemed to think that, because she wasn’t making money from her link, it was okay.
Where she really did go wrong was in refusing to correct her mistake once she knew. To make amends if only by publicly admitting she was wrong. It was the work of a few minutes to follow up on the designer’s claims, to check out the designer’s Etsy shop and see for herself that the designs are the same. And to ask herself: who might the real artist be? She might also contact Amazon and report the stolen designs. A few minutes of the influencer’s time spent to do the right thing. That’s not too much to ask.
I remember back in January 2017, after the huge women’s marches all over the world following Donald Trump’s inauguration as American president, I wrote a post about anger management. The post was mostly about the effects of venting one’s anger, but I did get into feminist politics a little. And I used a photo I’d seen on Facebook. A photo of two Canadian icons, Adrienne Clarkson (our former Governor General) and Margaret Atwood with arms linked walking in the Women’s March in Toronto.
I spent a couple of hours that day trying see if I could get permission to use the photo. Someone with whom I am friends on FB had “liked” it. I found the account of the person who posted it. She replied to my message explaining that the photo wasn’t hers but her daughter’s (I believe) and gave me her daughter’s email. I emailed the daughter whose name is Christina Zaza. Ms. Zaza contacted me later that afternoon. She readily gave me permission and said she was thrilled that I had bothered to track her down to give her credit for her photo. She said that a newspaper in Toronto had copied it off Facebook and used it without bothering to ask.
Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but trying to track down the source of that photo was the right thing to do. And you know what? It felt good. And made me feel that I was practising what I’d preached for so many years to my students.
And speaking of that photo of Margaret Atwood and Adrienne Clarkson, I saw Adrienne Clarkson last summer. My friend Susan and I were eating lunch in a downtown Ottawa restaurant and Clarkson was sitting at a corner table with her husband John Ralston Saul. I so very much wanted to say something to her as we were leaving. So I did.
Susan and I stopped by their table, where I apologized for interrupting, and said how much I admired her achievements, and referred to the photo of her and Margaret Atwood in the Women’s March. She chuckled at that and said something about Atwood’s pink hat. Then, referring to the march, she said ruefully, “Looks like we may have to do that again.”
Susan whispered to me as we walked away, “I’d never have had the courage to do that.” And then we kind of floated out of the restaurant. High on our brush with celebrity. Because they were, and are, a power couple in Canada. Ralston Saul is a well respected writer and philosopher. And Clarkson, well, she was a famous Canadian broadcaster for years, and then our Governor-General from 1999-2005.
I admire women like Adrienne Clarkson. And Margaret Atwood. Still speaking out, still speaking their minds. Still doing the right thing just because it’s the right thing to do. I follow Margaret Atwood on social media. She has a blog on Substack, you know. It’s called In the Writing Burrow. You can find it here. She doesn’t post regularly. But when she does, it’s well worth reading.
That’s it for me today, my friends. Hope you didn’t find me too preachy. But there are certain things that get up my nose. I know you know that. I don’t mean the larger examples of society’s seemingly growing disdain for doing the right thing, just because it is the right thing. I mean the small day-to-day things that we can put right quite easily if we take the time.
What gets up your nose? Want to vent a little? Feel free. We’re listening… as Frasier Crane used to say.
P.S. I included links above to three of my favourite books about fashion, books which have taught me things and inspired me. Those links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase after clicking my link, I will earn a small commission which helps to pay for the blog. And if you’d rather not buy a book, and you want to support my blog, well, you can always buy me a coffee.
38 thoughts on “On Doing the Right Thing… Just Because.”
This is a most thought-provoking piece, Sue. And I would say that yes, one should always try to do the right thing, no matter how uncomfortable it can be. I find the current global swerve towards acceptance of untruth, promotion of self-interest and (most of all) the labelling of oneself as a brand, something to be promoted, purchased, publicised extremely discomforting. I am also aware that, amongst people of our generation, there is a slightly tedious counter-cry of: it was all so much better in our day! A dangerous stance. Some things were, some things have vastly improved but we live in perilous times and are constantly bombarded with more information – truth and lies – than the human brain is able to cope with. There was a feature on the BBC news programme on Friday concerning the rise in dangerous driving in the UK in the past few years, characterised by intolerance and impatience, causing many injuries and fatalities. A cyclist has undertaken to record the instances he witnesses or is involved in on his go-pro and then report them to the police – who take action. Oddly, he has received backlash for this, as though he is being sneaky and should mind his own business. A prime case of doing the right thing, regardless of the consequences. I suppose, in our post-pandemic, climatically challenged world, fear drives egocentricity way beyond the acceptable bounds of the rights of the individual. BTW: happy Sunday!
That is such a good example of the cyclist doing the right thing, Annie. We have signs along the highway here asking drivers to report suspected cases of drunk driving to the police. I don’t know if it works or not. But I agree that egocentricity, as you say, has gone way beyond what is good for society.
I agree with you,Sue! I know that there are a lot of things that have inspired us and might be dormant in our minds (though I don’t think that’s the key here) and we couldn’t remember the source but one could always be polite and kind and accept a possible mistake.
It seems that there are huge gaps in knowing the etiquette (and things are changing as well) or some things that were taught as common sense . Or right,kind and honest thing to do
Dottoressa
As long as someone makes a reasonable effort to track down a source I think it’s okay to not be able to remember them. I’ve seen some bloggers or on-line creators admit they can’t find the source and even ask their readers to assist if they know. I like that idea.
“Doing the right thing” serait en français “Faire ce qui est juste”. Votre ajout de “because…” est à mon sens primordial parce qu’il faut savoir argumenter du pourquoi c’est nécessaire, sinon cela resterait un slogan desincarné du sujet dont il est question. C’est là que commence la réflexion que chacun devrait mettre en branle quand il s’agit d’agir (ou non, ce qui est aussi une action) “parce que”…
Ce “parce que” révèle nos valeurs, nos références, nos concernements des choses du monde, proche ou lointain.
Le fait que l’influenceuse dont vous parliez ne comprenait pas en quoi elle avait “mal fait” est emblématique de la difficulté à se mettre à la place de l’autre que soi, chose qui me semble en augmentation dans le monde d’aujourd’hui.
Votre message aujourd’hui est tellement riche en éléments de réflexion qu’il y aurait de quoi écrire encore longuement, mais je vais en rester là, ou presque. Je dirais encore qu’on peut faire “ce qui est juste, parce que”…, simplement depuis son canapé avec son ordinateur ou tablette comme vous le faites aujourd’hui, et que ce n’est pas réservé à ceux qui ont l’énergie ou la capacité de manifester publiquement ici ou là. Mais quand on peut manifester pour “ce qui est juste, parce que”, alors il faut le faire, sinon le respect du droit et de la dignité de l’autre seront considérés comme négligeables.
Anne
I agree. Sometimes it is a matter of minutes to make a wrong right. I like what you say about the importance of the “because.”
You are right of course . Some people don’t seem able to think ‘ How would I feel if it were me ? ‘ . There’s a great deal of self promotion without empathy . I find myself turning away from that side of the internet world more & more these days , avoiding so called influencers completely. I’m including the fashion folk in that – I just don’t need them in my life . That goes for instagram & TikTok too . I’ll just potter along doing my own thing . We had a lovely walk in the Yorkshire Dales yesterday, bright sunshine & some autumn colour then a pub lunch . Much the same outing as we would have had sixty years ago & we enjoyed it just as much . Good for our peace of mind too ( I might have turned into a grumpy old woman 😉)
Your walk sounds so good, Wendy. I envy you guys your pubs, and the ability to have a walk and stop into a country pub. Here the best we can do is usually a chip wagon. Ha. Not that I don’t love my chip wagons.
Thanks for the thought provoking post. You have such an eloquent writing style. I completely agree with you- Mary Lou
Thanks, Mary Lou. 🙂
This was a really interesting post. The influencer with the jewelry she bought on Amazon may not have been aware she was purchasing a knock-off. I completely agree, the influencer was wrong to not acknowledge it was a knock-off and to take the opportunity to promote the designer once she became aware of what was what.
This reminds me of a recent post by Alison Gary, of Wardrobe Oxygen, where she talks about the design of handbags and what’s considered a duplicate or knockoff, and what’s open an market trend. It’s a lot to consider. Here’s a link:
https://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/how-do-i-know-if-a-bags-a-dupe-or-a-trend/
I saw that article on Wardrobe Oxygen…very well done. I like Alison’s blog.
I worry about people not doing the right thing (e.g. treat others respectfully, listen, give credit where credit is due), but in the context of political culture. We’re going down a very scary rhetorical road and my biggest worry is that the best and the brightest of society have little incentive to accept the call to public service, given how their lives may be gutted if they do so. I can’t imagine a truly capable person wanting to participate in the level of discourse we’re stuck with now. I yearn for the days when more people with credentials engaged in disciplined debate with respect for each other and the facts. Heck, I even read the hansard…for fun. I suppose you can argue that building the qualities we want in people starts at the most basic level, which includes reminding people to give credit to others, and to be humble when humility is required (e.g. acknowledging a mistake). I avoid most social media since the worst of culture is generally on display. On some level I’m glad my youth is in the rear view mirror.
We are going down a scary road, I agree. Even with the most basic habits. My last few years teaching it was getting harder and harder to get kids to do simple things like pick up their garbage in the cafeteria. That used to drive me nuts…kids getting up from a table and leaving it littered with empty cups, sandwich wrappers etc when they walked right by the garbage can. We’d spend our lunch duty chasing them.
Ugh that would drive me crazy, too. I can’t stand litter bugs anywhere!!
A thoughtful post, and of course it’s fine for you to rant about anything that irritates you on your blog. However, I’m unsure that I’m in complete agreement with your position. In relation to the store, their actions were wrong, but as you suggest, I don’t find the error to be of much consequence.
As for Ms Loren, I do agree that that her biggest mistake was not to rectify her error when it was brought to her attention. However, I’m unsure about how much effort one should reasonably make to identify an original source, and feel it’s probably sufficient to cite the source where one saw a photo or idea. Nevertheless, I admire the energy you expended and the thoroughness you displayed to track down and acknowledge an original source.
As for me, lying politicians and the inability of warring parties to resolve their differences and relieve widespread and unimaginable human suffering, of which there are so many examples right now, high up the chain of things that upset me.
I love it when you vent! I am seventy seven and can honestly say I have always tried to do the right thing or correct myself the times I realize that I haven’t done the right thing. While I was still in my twenties I learned that people are watching us and our actions do have an effect on decisions they may have to make someday.
Also, I love the photos of the pumpkin patch. My weakness is fresh hay bales in a large field. Many photos taken over many years.
I simply love that pumpkin field. This past weekend it was filled with families and children picking their Halloween pumpkins.
No, the store failing to acknowledge the source of their “ideas” was not of much consequence. But the influencer was the one that really bugged me. Of course she was not wrong to credit her piece to the store from which she purchased. But after she knew she was definitely in the wrong. By the way, “Ms. Loren” was not the influencer, but the commenter who informed the influencer what she might have done instead. The influencer’s name can be seen in her own comments.
P.S. I also agree about governments and politicians not alleviating suffering. That is indeed higher up the chain of reprehensible dees.
Thank you for this discussion on a very important topic. I have an artist friend and she and her fellow artists are overwhelmed by the constant need to be on their guard and fighting knock-off sites of their work. So wrong and so draining emotionally and financially for them.
I’m a poetry fan and frequently repost poems on Facebook. Often they appear uncredited to the original writer or credited to someone else. It’s really important when reposting something to check the original source and try to find and give credit to the original writer.
Me too, Linda. I always try to find if the “quote” is legit. A friend of mine shared one (in lovely poster format, no less) that severely misquoted William Golding. Just reading it, you could tell there was no way that Golding said that. I was chuckling when I found the original quote and sort of rapped my friend across the knuckles for posting his version.
It’s so easy to steal someone’s work for nefarious use these days. My cousin is a well known Ontario artist who sells through a popular Ottawa gallery among others. Her paintings command in the four to five figures. One day a friend was looking at an ad for an Ottawa condo and recognized one of my cousin’s paintings, the woman contacted her to let her know ( all her work is copyrighted)
My cousin had never given permission nor was she receiving any money for the use of the image. She went to the builder who passed the blame to their advertising agency.. My cousin got a lawyer and there was a settlement. She has a distinct style so the painting was easily recognizable.
All photos of her works must have a water mark and credited to her. She told me though that it was so draining going through the process but…She did the right thing.
We were at a well known gallery on PEI where there are several warnings posted stating No Photos. A friend and I watched several people take photos and she sighed and said well we’ll see these paintings in Walmart soon…I walked over to the gallery owner and pointed out the issue. I also pointed out that the artists trusted her to protect their art. She also sighed and said ‘it’s an ongoing battle with iPhones and people using them when they shouldn’t’ But she did go to the tour operator and told her that everyone would be asked to leave if they didn’t put the phones away.
Busybody or doing the right thing? Don’t/too old to care what people think of me.
Small creators are so vulnerable to theft. It’s sad, isn’t it?
I am with you on this one. Perhaps it is because my Mom was a fibre artist.
The “stealing” that I dislike is all (and there are many) so called “indie” designers that steal the older no longer published sewing patterns and offer them for sale as a new pattern that they have designed. In my family we all sew and usually one of us has the original from Vogue, Butterick, McCalls, Burda, Simplicity, Advance…..and if we compare the “indie” designers offerings they are line for line the same as the original pattern. The pattern companies are struggling because not as many people sew anymore so they do not have the money to go after the “indie designers” so they get away with stealing.
No social conscience, no ethics, no morals, no values….seems to be rampant “sigh”
Lots of people have no idea that there are those of us who have long memories. No ethics, I agree.
A woman after my own heart! I also sew and the “indies” and their simple patterns that are basically reboots of vintage patterns drive me nuts, too! Mostly I don’t understand why people don’t collect a few vintage patterns and use those instead of paying the huge sums these new companies ask for for their basic patterns. I have a stack of Burda magazines and Vintage Vogues that give me everything I need (plus some old sewing books). People are suckered by packaging I guess. If one has any knowledge of sewing it’s usually apparent that the pattern is easily found in an older form with minimal modifications. Also, if one is in the know one knows that the old Vogue sewing instructions are the very best!
I’m a knitter too (going back 45 years) and all of the knitwear “designers” who sell pattern variations on the same top down sweater also drive me crazy (plus all the knockoffs of vintage designs – same issue as in sewing). I’ve calmed down on that one in recent years though…
Sue,
Well said.!
Great post.
Thanks for writing this.
Thanks, Margaretanne. 🙂
Good writing. Valuable. Worthy thoughts.
I’m trying to remember when the phrase, “it’s all relative” entered into my brain. It seemed to conveniently explain away so many things in my young life. Some good, some not so good, some just wrong. It seemed to meltdown some misplaced standards but, at the same time, some important ones as well.
Very thought-provoking, Sue. I’m totally with you on this.
Thank you for sharing…
Yes, that phrase “it’s all relative” can justify small wrongs can’t it?
I want to hear more about the Man Eating Chicken we are teased with on Instagram.
Ceci
Yes , me too – makes Canada sound very scary !
Next post, Ceci. 🙂
Hi Sue, I’m travelling and haven’t been reading blogs, but this evening I’m having an early night in the hotel (in Seoul!) and came across this post.
It’s funny that you should talk about sharing credit for ideas because I’m pretty sure that Allison isn’t the first to come up with the three word style statement. I have a book that I bought years ago that talks about the very same thing. If you are interested, and I remember, I can look it up when I get home. When I first came across Allison the idea seemed vaguely familiar so I finally checked my (groaning) style shelves and I do still have it. To be honest I didn’t really use the book, and it’s possible that the idea is easier to follow via Instagram and video, so she has definitely put in the work, but I don’t think it’s a fresh new idea.
I agree Patricia about the “Three Style Words” not being invented by Allison. She mentions that in one of her earlier videos that she adopted it and adapted it. I remember reading about it first in an article somewhere years ago, and then saw Allison’s videos.
P.S. Enjoy your trip. 🙂
Ah, I’m glad to hear that she acknowledged it!
Thank you, and Happy Thanksgiving!
This was an excellent essay on a complicated issue. I am fearful that our grandchildren do not have “good examples” in the media or our leadership.
Thanks, Cindy. I always think about the kids I lectured to do the right thing and acknowledge their sources when I’m tempted to not bother searching for original sources myself. How can I tell them to do it and not do it myself?
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